Idiosyncratic

I've always begrudged giving my close friends the satisfaction that they're my number one friend, my best friend. Mainly because I don't trust any of you enough to not hate me in a couple of months - which I dont blame you for. My best friendships have a 1 year expiration date on all of them. My fault I know.
I only exclude one, because I trust that one. And you're all going to think you are that one.

10 reasons why I am better than you

1.) Pretty sure I don't have an STI.
2.) I'm not a massive pikey
3.) I have standards
4.) I have a befitting sense of fashion
5.) I know what befitting means
6.) I have life prospects
7.) I have Monty
8.) I have an ACTUAL job
9.) I have an ACTUAL car and an ACTUAL license to drive it
10.) My hair is nicer

Yknow,

Avril

My favourite Belle de Jour quotes, because she is witty and I wish I was her.

I swear if someone ever got hold of transcripts of my phone calls, they'd probably think I was a - oh wait, I am.
Lets be honest, this is a customer service position, not a self fulfillment odyssey.
All romance is narcicissm.
All men are twats, unless they are paying, in which case they're twats who are paying.
Postgraduate bursaries probably extend far enough for a few piss ups each term, but I doubt they cover a lady of the night.
There is no worse sound than the greedy giggles of a redhead displaying a PDA in juxtaposition with her cleavage
Anal sex is the new black.
A man who suggests his wife grab her ankles and take it like a choirboy was probably courting divorce, or at the very least burnt suppers for a month.



unfinished.