Blogs

I think they're supposed to be interesting, I need to change the layout. This hasnt moved since the early 1800's.

So I kind of bought the jumper he's wearing (STAR IN THE HOOD), along with a pocket watch. Good ol' Tinchy Strider. Now I'm definately in with the G's at college.

Orsett Ink

I WANT A TATTOO SO SO BAD. Im going to be reckless.

I want some form of amy winehouse-esque naked pin up girl, ed-hardy-ish tattoo on my foot. I can't find a picture. Possibly like this...ish. Definately no roses.

THEN, I want black light ink. Like this but with my jaw. Or my hand, I don't even know yet.

After that, I want to tattoo myself, with a random gingerbread man on my thumb. Just because I've wanted it for ages. And I want something tattooed on the inside of my lip like IRRELEVANT. I'll probably have to think of something better, but it's a working progress. One day I might even get my name tattooed on myself, if im feeling super stupid : no.

But I need to get my monroe done first.

Who invented the metre

I love it when Nancy flashes ;)

This isnt an imitation either.

SID SID SID

The hand of God.

This isnt an imitation.full stop.

That time we rang Richard and Matt tried to be Thanit and Katie didnt know any of these people.

I love this one :)

I am actually white

But we have black legs!
Paddys not up for it Katie.

RSPCA.

Yeah, still RSPCA

Assignment#70

Goodbye bed-ridden syndrome.
Goodbye center parcs.
Goodbye internet reliance.
Goodbye chronic alcoholism.
Goodbye being a brunette forever.
Goodbye to the carefully illustrated scenes in my head.
Goodbye acquiescence.
Goodbye putting up with you.
Goodbye telling you what you want to hear.
Goodbye to "needing" anyone.
Goodbye refusing to say I LOVE YOU.
Goodbye to feeding Monty hotdogs, they are bad for him.

95% of these aren't mine.
But I concur, this is pure homage to Miranda July.

The man

sp00n says:
youre the boss.
MR.S ALL IS WELL says:
your the crumpet

O'Hippo

Dear Deenmeister,

After traveling all the way to Grays,or..Thurrock. I don't know what the difference is and I dont know where my college is. I have concluded that you are the best teacher in the world. It is official, as clearly I've done enough field research to support this fact.

You are the only teacher ever (excluding Miss Dean) to not hate me...fully. Youre the only teacher Ive met who is young enough to actually grasp the concept of fun and to actually know that radio exists, let alone Xfm. You understand the fine art of sarcasm aswell as the absolute genius of sketches such as Flight of the Concords.

This isnt really highlighting your skills as a teacher, but look at my excellent use of paragraphs, clearly all thanks to you. I can't say I'm a fine representation of your craftmenship but that is no fault of yourn. This is due to my epic fail, which I will now blame Wendy Shorter for. I am going to strip her of her doctrite and give it to you, the clearly more deserving of the two. I bet shes never been to a festival in her life, and shes certainly not Scottish.

I feel I owe it to you that I now appreciate the full power of The Pixies, but still only one song of Joy Divisions. I was debating whether to write you a poem instead of an unsent letter. But then I realised I cant ever write a poem again, It'd be like Ghost Busters II, utter disappointment.

You officially own,
The Irreverant child.

Ten of Hearts

Today, I met James whilst eating toffee butterkist popcorn with KASEY-RAE,yes. He is actually one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Let me explain... CARD TRICKS! Honestly, slight of hand is an understatement. "It would be good if this was your card wouldnt it?" He's so smooth with it! I don't know his second name, have never met the child before, he just sat down and wopped out some cards. I take my theorectical hat off to you you mysterious master of the deck.

Oh and today, flapjack kid paid me and KASEY-RAE a whole 1p to perform the jungle rap...with actions.oof.

Whore house

Clelia Allen

Recently, she has dazzled me. I suppose it's not just of late but particularly recently she has sparkled more than anyone has ever dared. Look, theres you... and then there's me and her. We're on this level that is hard to comprehend. A level where there's a mcdonalds on every corner, where everyone smokes lucky strike and drinks whatever the fuck theyre given. Our level isn't particularly amazing, horrific at times, but its somewhere very few will ever be.Which is the comforting fact. SDFHGJTRKDE. I love the way when we met we were like "I know you" : when we didn't really, were just "soul mates." - blates. I love the way I can tell her pretty much anything and everything, cos chances are she's feeling exactly the same thing anyway. I love the way we finish eachothers sentences :) or when either of us cant explain were just like "yeah" cos we know we know. And we do know. I love the way were polar opposites in so many ways (honestly,who doesn't like milkshake.) & the way she calls me a fucking wierdo almost constantly. The way she'll let me do all the wrong things and wont feel the need to tell me to stop, the way she wont tell me to stop talking really loud about certain things in public,she will merely laugh at the fact I do so and dont realise. Bella, in both senses of the word, Im glad shes happy.really. And I just felt the need to post some e-lovvin' because im mad about the child! ESRDFHKD Clelia Allen, will you marry me?

Adieu.XO

Update: She only saved my life today aswell ;)

Top Hat

At the end of the previous most unfortunate year that was 2008. I HAD AN EPIPHANY. Well I didnt really ,I was mildly drunk on cheap champagne! But a month later, I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHANY.
I shared this epiphany with Katie and we have moulded it into a genius idea for 2009.
"FUCK.EVERYONE." - not literally mind.
We will do what we like, when we like. Worry about it...later.
I'd rather it be disasterously dangerous and horrificly horrendous than boring.
I assure you__it will not be boring.excellent.

Clara Bow

"Every girl should always wear a push-up bra...They just should." - Katie Anderson

I always forget I miss them more than nap-time and Deeney put together.