I am worth nothing.

My attempt at "selling myself."

My Personal Statement by Hollie Walker Age 17 and 10/12

Hello,
My name is Hollie and I have a dog. He licks windows. You should accept me for this course because I will actually drink loads and when I am drunk I become alsmost like a guru, handing out spiritual guidance like chlamydia. (I don't have chlamydia) This I feel is vital for the studo of philosophy. (Not chlamydia)
I like to draw
I went to Mexico once and realised they all look like The Simpsons. So I would like to go abroad in the 3rd year.Just not to Mexico.Thanks.
I first became interested in philoshopy when I visited Greece in the summer of '69. I didn't erally, but this shows you my budding wit and poor sentence structure. Also that I lie alot.
I sound autistic. I am not.
I work for Marks and Spencers, they taught me good customer service and also that if you throw a potato at someones head...you will get the sack.

Thanks in advance for the unconditional.
Hollie.

Strangely

I do believe this is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

11:52pm Stewart
and i wish u came inm size so i could eat u or chew u chewing gu
hahah

On the subject of e-scrabble

_ said
god wants me to get queer.

_ said
i have U, E, E, Q, U, E, E

_ said
and he put it on a plate

_said
YOU, SIR, ARE A Guest 2135900: QUEER, 28points

_ said
BRINGING THE SMACKDOWN NOW.ALSO, THOU ART AGuest 2135900: QUEEN, 15points

_ said
jizzworthy I AM YOURGuest 2135900: GOD, 9points

_ said
im currently playing 1 letter at a time, so as to preserve the "SCROTU" i have saved. biding my time...

University? Really?

Well done Mr Stanford for picking out 80% of the things I despise. And the rest just what I already knew. I hate looking at universities - THEYRE ALL BORING. LOOKING FOR FUTURE EDUCATION IS BORING!

Megan Dalley

"Boys are like animals at the zoo, just look at them through the glass. Dont feed them, because then they might slober on your hand then you wont like them anymore."

We're both going to get the sack :)

Facebook

I hate you.
You brought about the death of myspace and general internet arrogance.
I dont want to know what other people are doing right now. I don't care that "U r in mcdonalds wiv ur bby lol..x" What makes you assume I would?
You could say that blogging is the same, I don't like the fact that because I write shit on a page people assume I have enough self worth to actually think what I have to say is worth hearing.
Im under no illusion that it is just loads and loads of bollocks.
But It's not thrust under your nose! I write it for me, I find myself amusing sometimes - I don't know anyone except maybe Carla that reads it anyway. Whereas facebook status updates almost demand your attention. Because they're there. And unmoving. Like birdshit on a windscreen.
What did that ever bring to the world?

No good I say, no good.

I am seriously happy

MCR are back recording.
But with one newly married, a post wrist op drummer and Gerrard with new baby Bandit.
This albumn best not be a lyrical culmination of the 3 resulting in mass musical disaster.
BUT, either way they will be on tour soon, well. 2010 im guessing - AND I WILL BE THERE. fo'shizz. :')